How to survive inflation
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How to survive inflation
The US Consumer Price Index (CPI) recorded 8.3% annual inflation in April, down from 8.5% in March. Housing, food, airline tickets, and new vehicles made up the majority of the CPI last month, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Americans today are experiencing the highest rate of inflation in the last 40 years, which means that for the first time in their lives, they are seeing a general increase in prices in the economy.
However, the reality of neighboring countries in recent decades is somewhat different.
In the last 40 years, Latin American economies have struggled with inflation. In 1996, in Mexico, the Indice de Precios y Cotizaciones (IPC) grew by 27.70%. It was even more dramatic in Brazil, where hyperinflation led to an increase in prices of 1,792.90% in 1989.
There is much we can learn from the experiences of neighboring countries during times of uncertainty, and it is crucial to organize finances in order not to break.
Step Down
While your finances may be in order, knowing your expenses in times of inflation will allow you to plan ahead. Knowing what a priority is and cutting small, non-essential expenses are crucial.
Consider paying cash instead of credit for mandatory expenses if there is a discount. The only time financing is a good option is when there is no interest, meaning that even if you pay monthly, the full price remains the same.
Do your research to find the best prices when buying groceries, and don't be tied to brands. Give preference to wholesale purchases because the prices are generally lower.
Finally, do everything you can to pay off debt that has a variable interest rate, meaning interest rates fluctuate based on a benchmark. A benchmark can be an inflation index, or the US interest rate set by the Federal Reserve.
What comes next?
Although inflation affects daily life and the economy, it is important to remember that this sticker shock was already expected. Because of the pandemic, the government released US$ 4.6 trillion in funds to guarantee income for the unemployed and financial relief for companies, which is one of the reasons for current inflation.
There are also a number of external factors contributing to current inflation, such as the war in Ukraine, Chinese lockdowns, and disruptions in global supply chains.
Banks in the United States are already predicting an economic recession, which occurs when the economy declines for several months. During these challenging times, don't let despair overtake you, and remember that this is just a phase that will soon end.
As someone who grew up in a country experiencing decades of inflation, I know that living a step below your dreams and potential is not easy or comfortable, but it's essential, so personal finances don't become even more fragile once this economic crisis is over.
Heart Split into Two Homes
"I see you everywhere. I miss you so much already, but I know you're happy and well, and I wish you all the best. You deserve it. That's what keeps me going. I love you so much."
My grandma, Ivone, said these words when I called her before boarding for New York after spending a month with her in Brazil. And right before I got into that plane, I was sobbing again.
If you knew her, you'd understand how powerful these words are. She's not one to say "I love you" often. She never really initiated hugs, but always enjoyed it when I hugged her. And I'm also not one to embrace much. I always tell people that my heart belongs to her.
When my mom decided to immigrate to the U.S. in 1996, she asked Ivone if she would feel comfortable taking care of my sister and me; she responded that she'd "never leave our side, and couldn't imagine any other way."
And up until I was 14, she didn't leave my side. But I left hers to live with my mom in NYC. While it was always part of the plan for me to move after elementary school, I felt so guilty in a way to leave her behind. And since 2009, every time I visit, the goodbyes don't seem to get easier. I spend less time with other friends and family members and more time with her.
After our most recent farewell, I kept thinking about other people like me: those who leave loved ones behind and stay with a heart split into two homes, two countries. Those who feel the unavoidable guilt of having better opportunities than their families, the yearning, and the feeling we need to take care of them. Especially if they had a tough upbringing, and even more so when they get older: you start seeing them become more and more fragile. When we spend time apart, you feel the shock of seeing them vs. if you were with them every day.
I chatted with a few of my immigrant friends in similar situations, and most of them say the same thing: it always breaks our hearts, but we got to keep on moving on.
We immigrants are never fully satisfied: when we're at the place we came from, there are moments we feel happy to have left for better opportunities. I end up missing my bed, routine, work, friends, and fiancé... But when you're with those from your childhood and say goodbye to them, you wonder if you made the right decision.
What can we do to make this feeling go away?
Well, I try to hold on to what my grandma told me right before I got into that plane. I'm doing well here, and I wouldn't be where I am—the good, the bad, and everything in between—without my life experiences, including leaving Brazil. I also hold on to the good memories, continue to care for my loved ones (like her) from afar, and dedicate my wins and success to this amazing woman who raised me. Finally, and most importantly: I try to enjoy every moment I can with those I care for here or when I'm in Brazil because we never know what tomorrow holds.
Does that make it better? It does until I say goodbye to my grandma again.
Fear of Missing…What?
If you've never suffered from FOMO (the Fear of Missing Out) in the social media era, count yourself lucky. Especially for anxious people, it's not always easy to make decisions and be 100% satisfied with them. FOMO, for those who are not familiar with the term, is that feeling that you're spending your days with minor things while the rest of the world is having its best time on this planet. I reflected on it on a recent trip to Hawaii.
I started watching videos like "top 10 tips to do in Maui ". Meanwhile, I received some tips from friends. The options are endless. "Go snorkeling at that beach"; "If you want to see turtles, you have to arrive early at that place"; "Don't miss the whales - it's the season!"; "Don't miss the opportunity to drive along this highway to see waterfalls". And so on.
Of course, I gladly received all the tips and took lots of notes. Trying to follow the script for the first two days, I completely ignored the beach located two minutes from my hotel. In my search for new adventures, I got rain, traffic, crowded beaches, and difficulty parking.
The good news is that it's impossible to waste time in that state. Hawaii is like an unforeseen-proof paradise: even when you "make a mistake" you end up in an incredible spot that wasn't even in your plans. But my trip started to pay off when I decided to stay on the beach next to my hotel.
In the first 30 minutes there, I saw a giant turtle. So, I decided to go snorkeling and saw tons of fish of all colors, shapes and sizes. And, of course, at sunset, guess what? Yes, a wonderful show of whales and their calves.
In short, everything that I needed was there. I felt 100% present in the moment, as I hadn't felt in a long time.
FOMO x-ray
The trip is a metaphor for life, and the source of FOMO often has a common origin: the fear of missing opportunities and getting disappointed. Sometimes, it is safer to bet on the herd effect: "If everyone is doing it, it's because it's right, it's because it's cool. Then, I will avoid frustrations". It seems that, more and more, we want to remain in a state of euphoria. But we forget that disappointment, boredom, and the unexpected are also part of life, and they also teach us a lot.
Moreover, following the herd is not always a good option. We can distance ourselves from our true essence, confused about what we really want out of life. Get married and have kids? Backpacking around the world? Adopt a dog? Go to trendy restaurants, shows, and parties? Open your own business? Waking up at 5 am to make your day more productive?
We are used to images of success, and happiness formulas that the Internet makes us believe are real. And this is one of the most harmful symptoms of anxiety generated by FOMO. I invite you to ask yourself: do you want these things, or is FOMO making you believe you do?
Social media has a vital role in this scenario, as studies show. Many researchers have already concluded that people who suffer from FOMO usually have the most screen time. This is not exactly breaking news. But other than blaming social media, we may find inside ourselves some ways to be more present.
Meet FOBO and JOMO
For those who want to get rid of FOMO, I recommend exploring a little more two interesting acronyms: JOMO (the Joy Of Missing Out) and FOBO (the Fear of a Better Option). The first one needs no explanations: it is the opposite of FOMO. In other words: it is the feeling of joy to be left out. It's the ability to be happy with your choices, despite what your family or friends are doing.
After all, we are talking about decision-making. And here, I want to talk a bit about FOBO. It is a concept created by Patrick Mcginnis, the "father" of FOMO(*). He argues in his book "Fear of Missing Out: Practical Decision-Making in a World of Overwhelming Choice" that we often have the perception that something much better is happening out there. As if better options are available, and we're not realizing it. And so we miss the opportunity to evaluate the positive points of the experiences we are living.
He invites us to have a question in mind when we are stuck in the anxiety to do everything simultaneously. Look at the situation and think: "Is there enough good?". If the answer is "yes," you already have the best decision in your hands. It's not about being too comfortable; it's about valuing what you have at the moment without thinking that it could be better.
To conclude, I want to highlight how important it is to keep ourselves loyal to our values. When you know what is essential to you, you will not feel shaken by the decisions of others. It is important to remember that each person has a unique way of interpreting the world. Being true to your own way is one of the biggest antidotes to FOMO.
(*) Patrick McGinnis is considered the father of FOMO and FOBO because he coined those terms for the first time in a 2004 article published in "The Harbus," the student newspaper of Harvard Business School. He is the author of "Fear of Missing Out: Practical Decision-Making in a World of Overwhelming Choice" and hosts a podcast on this subject.
spine and spin
Yesterday I cried at a dance performance for the first time. It was a rose wrapped in drapes and a little prince tip-toeing on top of a ball, magic sparkling from the muscles, dancers who seemed to be carved brutally yet so gentle, as gentle as passion can be, the unbelievable strength of a body in love floating through a story. From the balcony of the theater, I felt my eyes expanding vision to another form of explosion. I wanted to dance too. My secret dream is the circus. I keep secrets in the same place as I hold fears, and I try not to understand too much of what I am afraid of. But I’ve always wanted to dance. A tap dancer, to be more precise, if I could ever be reborn. I am more influenced than I would like to be. I absorb too much of the impact of what is visible to the eyes, essential or not – I want to reproduce what I feel in any way available. I want to dance too. I still want to. So many times unsuccessfully I tried to recognize my body in movement, tried to catch my arms in a better position and understand how my knees work. When I pass by any glass building in New York City, I absolutely hate the way I am standing so crooked. I spent most of my wonders in hopes for a new construction of a spine. How I wish I had a better posture… for that I often think my body was not designed for melody. I hold rhythm in my throat, I try to convince myself I’m only for words and sound and tongue, not ever for the waves and muscles and balance. Can one be happy staying still? I wish I could be more than what I speak. I wish my body could talk too.
Listen to be heard
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I'm a Big Brother fan. In Brazil, my home country, this reality show is a big deal. While half of the population brags that they prefer to read a book than watch such a despicable piece of entertainment, the other half watch it every day and talk about it on Twitter for months. I'm in the second group.
The first two days of this TV show are the worst. Desperate to be in the spotlight, the "brothers" talk non-stop simultaneously. It's almost impossible to understand what they are talking about due to overlapping voices, screams, and exaggerated laughter.
At the end of the first week, things start to get better. That's when we can see the true personalities behind the characters from day one. When they begin to hear each other, we can also listen to them.
What I love most about a TV show like this is observing human behavior (Stanford Experiment says hello!) and how people's attitudes and decisions are similar to real life. And the ability to listen with attention and empathy is increasingly scarce — on TV and in life.
That emptiness feeling
People need social connections to thrive. Studies show that feeling connected with others decreases anxiety and depression levels. It's good for our self-esteem and can even have physical benefits, increasing longevity. On the other hand, loneliness can be hazardous to our mental health.
We need to be heard and know how to listen to feel this kind of connection.
When we are in a chat, and an interlocutor doesn’t seem too interested, we feel emptiness. We can feel lonely even though we are not alone. See if you've been through any of these situations:
→ You tell something to a friend and, before you finish, they start to talk about a similar experience. "OMG, I've been in exactly the same situation last week." When they finally finish, you have already lost the train of thought.
→ You say something to a friend, and they reply, "it's not a big deal" because what happened to them is "much worse." (I wonder if some people believe they are in a suffering championship).
→ You have "breaking news" about your life to tell your friend. But they cannot stop checking their phone. Or, even worse, they suddenly change the subject, proving that they were not on the same page as you.
→ You are very engaged on a subject, and your friend keeps saying vague sentences like: "I see"; "I've been there;" "Don't worry, you'll be fine."
If you have already experienced some of those situations, or if you realized that you are a "bad listener" sometimes, don't feel bad. It’s more complex to be a good listener than most people think.
I believe that most of the time, we are trying to show empathy by telling a similar situation, trying to soften rough news through even more painful experiences, or spreading cliché sentences.
But to practice effective listening, there are good techniques. I found exciting suggestions in this article in the Harvard Business Review. Nonetheless, human interactions don't go well with rules. On the contrary: the more natural, the better.
That's why I would like to highlight the sentence that ends its article:
"(...) the highest and best form of listening comes in playing the same role for the other person that a trampoline plays for a child. It gives energy, acceleration, height, and amplification. These are the hallmarks of great listening."
In other words, nothing is better than genuine interest. Authentic connections are the ones that spark a feeling of fullness and acceptance.
As important as being a good listener is to identify among people that surround you which ones can offer this level of reciprocity. Sometimes we choose to walk side by side with people who want attention only for them, which drains our energy.
Life is not Big Brother, but, as in the TV show, everyone has the right to be in the spotlight once in a while. It makes us feel that, in that single moment, someone is watching us as if they were watching their favorite reality show: with attention, curiosity, and a keen ear.
Face-time and time to face it
I was on Facetime with a friend trying to convince her to move to New York. I very often do this. With more than one friend. I actually did it to all of them at this point. Is it because I miss them? Not really. I mean, I do miss them, but it is not the reason I engage in the cheap marketing pitch I have ready for when they complain about their lives. Is it because I truly think this city can be for everyone? Absolutely not. I’ve learned it the hard way. I’ve many friends who came here for a while, whether it was to visit or for one of those life drive tests you give yourself in your crisis, and left hating it, or not hating but, with the certainty they would never settle around. I thought it had something to do with my feelings for them, but frankly, no. This time, on that facetime, I realized I’m trying to convince myself. I’m telling it to myself. Not because I keep looking at myself during video calls, well, maybe this was deeper than just analyzing my pimples on screens. I noticed I am the one who needs to hear the twenty reasons why New York is holding your dream in a box ready for you. An old box full of rats, yes, but your dreams are there. Fucking cliché but that’s really the only moment when I romanticize it as to it believe in it – when I’m repeating to myself “oh yeah absolutely, you have to move to New York.” To hear myself listing the reasons why someone should stay here is the only moment I connect with statements and not questions about being an immigrant. It has been years since I’ve been stoked about this city, but somehow I deny every single opportunity to move out. Recently, I took a break and went to Portugal “before this city drives me crazy” as if I wasn’t already, “because I need to see new people” as if I have ever seen the same face on my block. I hated how soft yet strong the feeling was when I came back. I was still at JFK and I remember telling my heart “hey, we’re at the airport, this is not home, chill the fuck out, sweetie.” I can, though, disconnect very easily from New York. I look forward to saying goodbye. The problem is, coming back is inevitable. And it has to be because there is no other way. New York needs to be inevitable.
Crypto for women: Ethereum, Ether and ETH explained
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Crypto for women: Ethereum, Ether and ETH explained
Finance and women have always seemed like such dissimilar worlds, and, sometimes, they still do. In the last few years, the internet has helped close the financial gender gap, and cryptocurrencies are helping more women enter the finance field.
According to a Gemini report, women account for 26% of current crypto holders in the U.S., and they make up 53% of the "crypto curious" – people interested in getting into cryptocurrency soon.
But before investing in crypto, we first need to understand how it works. In my last article, I discussed the main characteristics of bitcoin and the blockchain technology. Now, let's look at Ethereum.
First, I'd like to explain the differences between Ethereum and Ether. Ethereum is a blockchain-based platform, or to put it in another way, it's a network. Just as the internet is a network of computers, Ethereum is also a network.
Ethereum is best known for its cryptocurrency, Ether (ETH). Ether is the native token of Ethereum's network, and it's also the second largest cryptocurrency worldwide in terms of market capitalization. With ETH, you can send payments directly to another person without the need for an intermediary.
On March 14, 2022, one ETH was worth $2,547.70.
But the Ethereum network is more than a blockchain platform. On Ethereum, software developers can build everything from decentralized lending platforms to social networks.
Decentralized System
As a decentralized system, Ethereum is not under the control of any governing authority. It is completely autonomous.
Applications that are decentralized have the potential to entirely change the way companies deal with their audiences and make money by eliminating the need for intermediaries.
As such, in the Ethereum Blockchain customers do not need an intermediary to know where their product originated, while smart contracts can ensure safe and efficient trades for both parties.
In short, Ethereum is a distributed computing platform that uses an open-source Blockchain to allow developers to build and deploy decentralized applications.
Ether and Bitcoin
As you already know, Ethereum's network uses Ether as its token (crypto), which can be used to send money to and from users without the involvement of any banks or financial institutions.
Ethereum and Bitcoin are two entirely different projects. Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency and money transfer system supported by a distributed public technology known as Blockchain.
Ethereum has taken the technology behind Bitcoin and significantly enhanced it. It has its own coding language, internet browser and payment system. It also allows developers to create decentralized applications using the Ethereum Blockchain.
Smart Contracts
On the Ethereum blockchain, applications can be created using "smart contracts". Like traditional paper contracts, smart contracts specify the terms of an agreement between the parties.
But unlike traditional contracts, smart contracts are automatically executed when terms are reached without participants needing to know who is on the other side and without requiring any kind of intermediary.
It was a computer scientist named Nick Szabo who made the first smart contract proposal in 1997, using the famous analogy to a vending machine. A vending machine has a cost for each drink, and once the coins are inserted, it will automatically run.
Like the vending machine, a smart contract can execute terms without a human intermediary.
There is so much more information I could share with you about Ethereum, such as how you can get it, the mining process, risks, Ethereum 2.0, and so on. Stay informed and up to date on crypto and investing for women in our upcoming articles.
What does failure mean to you
Since I left my job one year ago, I spent a lot of time thinking about failure. The fact is I’m 33 years old, with no kids, emotional or financial stability, and I don't have my own place. In my head, I’m a loser–sarcastic laugh– but come on! I know I’m not a loser. Years ago, I left a comfy life and moved to another city. Despite all the struggles, I'm healthy, safe and sound. I also survived the pandemic, and just this is something to celebrate.
For me, failure is having many expectations and losing focus on what is really important. It’s like you’re sinking. Especially when you are an adult and have to pay bills every month. I used to look to the past, remembering good memories, and getting stuck in something that was already gone. Also, I used to be addicted to social media. Watching other people “being happy”. We were conditioned to compare ourselves to others, and if you don’t have material possessions, you are considered nobody.
I’ve always been insecure about choices. I was afraid and scared about making bad decisions, and waited for so long that I lost opportunities. The matter of fact is, we shouldn’t wait for the “right moment” because life is happening, and you, my dear, will lose your chance. Weeks ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about waiting for the right time, to act or do certain things in life. It’s funny how the idea to wait is similar to “I will succeed when blah blah blah happens”. If we think about the “right moment”, probably this time will never come.
Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash
The last few years were very hard for me. I’m not a great example of thriving, but I can recognize my value as a human being. Living day by day and surviving the craziness created by society, especially when they say that you should marry, have kids and have your dream job (actually, be a workaholic) under 30.
Recently, I read “Year of Yes” by Shonda Rhimes. In this book, Shonda says she used to avoid face-to-face situations as an introvert person. Her life was in a tough spot when she decided to say “yes'' to everything, from taking care of her own health to job opportunities. She was a little frustrated, feeling bad and overwhelmed. At some point, something changed, and she longed for a new routine, and perspective. And it is clear to me how the power of our decisions affects our future (short, medium or long term). Everything happens during the right time. And of course, by saying “yes” more often to opportunities, that should bring you growth.
It took me more than 30 years to understand that I can’t have magical formulas or immediate results. I had to prove myself in easy and complex situations to recognize my own value. Remember, you’re not a failure, you are a survivor, and success vs failure is relative. For my own sanity, I avoid some magazines, social media profiles and toxic people. And guess what? This was the best thing that I could do for myself. It’s also important to have a support network. Surround yourself with them. I’m proud to say that I still have a close group of family and friends that are by my side, in good and bad times.
Today, my priorities are mental and physical health, doing my things without feeling guilty, with respect and humility. What’s yours?
The Power of Saying Someone's *Correct* Name
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People chuckle when they read my bio. I usually kick off written introductions explaining my name: Lívia – (liv + ee + uh), not Olivia, not Bolivia, just Lívia. I also emphasize my accent on the í. Like Beyoncé, or Salvador Dalí.
I have a last name that sounds like a first name: Paula. Some think it's easier to call me by my last name or just assume Lívia is short for Olivia, and so on. In the first few years of living in New York, I used to feel anxious about correcting others. I didn't want to sound arrogant (remember that immigrant guilt I wrote about in my last post? Something on those lines). So, I'd let the mistake happen a few times before I would say: "Hey! It's actually Lívia." To my surprise, people welcomed those corrections. And so did my confidence.
Dale Carnegie once said: "A person's name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language." That stuck with me, as I couldn't agree more. Yet, we still see immigrants or their children and people whose unique names aren't commonly seen in the U.S. change their names to make it easier for others. And I am not here to judge anyone who chooses to do that: if they feel more comfortable with a different, easier to pronounce name, go ahead! But suppose the choice is to make others feel comfortable while belittling your identity. In that case, it's important to reflect and see if your surroundings and groups (personal and professional) are inclusive of who you are and where you come from.
Actor Uzoamaka Aduba, most famous for her role as "Crazy Eyes" in Orange is The New Black, has a great story about her name and why she didn't change it when she first started acting. Aduba said at a Glamour Magazine event that she asked her mom to change her name to Zoe when she was in grade school because no one could pronounce Uzoamaka. Her mom's response was priceless. "If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka." Her name means "the road is good" in Nigerian, which makes it even more special.
Using people's names (and most importantly, correct names) in conversation can help build trusting relationships and influence. For example, every time a person adds the accent to my name in an email, it makes me feel as if that person took the time to read and pay attention to the details. When people ask how to pronounce my name, it makes me feel like that person is making an effort. There are also tools now to improve that process. When I was at NYU, they added a tool where students could record their name pronunciations in the school portal, so professors could learn how to say their names before class started. That option is also now available on LinkedIn. If those tools are available to you: take advantage. If people don't have issues pronouncing your name, take advantage of those tools to learn how to pronounce others'.
Making people feel comfortable in their own identities is crucial, and names are huge when it comes to that. Whether it is pronouncing their unique names or using people's proper pronouns, here are a few tips that can help with the process:
When starting a new role or meeting new people, don't be shy when introducing yourself: it's an excellent opportunity to emphasize your unique name and how to pronounce it correctly. Whether it is the CEO or your new teammate, people will welcome the extra help. In order to foster a welcoming and collaborative environment, it's important to feel welcome and heard.
Take an extra minute to read email signatures and profile bios: while people have a short attention span, I suggest taking a minute to read someone's email signature or bios. It can help you notice that little accent, pronoun, or perhaps a pronunciation tip. It can show others you cared to learn, and trust me, it'll make them feel better. If you have a unique name, I recommend adding the pronunciation on bios, or anywhere you have your name.
Don't be afraid to ask people to pronounce their names: Getting that step out of the way early on can help the conversation run smoothly - and the relationship builds better that way! Some people are bad with remembering names in general, so being very clear and specific can make an impression and make it easier for others to remember your unique self.
Your uniqueness is beautiful - not an inconvenience to others. Embrace it!
Never give up?
To know the right time to quit could be the smartest thing to do for your mental health
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You start to read a book or watch a TV show, and, after a while, you conclude: you didn't like it. You try, insist, but still feel that you are wasting your time. What do you do? Do you interrupt it, or, instead, go through with it?
Those are minor issues, of course, but consider applying the same concept to other spheres of life. Relationships that are no longer going well, "but we've been together for so many years...". Jobs that don't make sense anymore, "but I may be close to a promotion." Endless professional improvement courses, often in areas that no longer fit into our lives. And so on.
Experts named this phenomenon as "sunk cost fallacy." It happens when we force ourselves to keep on anything that we once invested time, energy, and emotional effort into. It's not easy to give up on something that we raised expectations of. Also, it is common to feel that, doing so, we are throwing away the entire journey. We tend to interpret the decision to quit as a failure.
A strong woman image is typically associated with those who can manage all the roles magnificently; the professional, the mother, the wife. Extra points for those who accomplish the beauty standard, with active social, and burning sexual lives. This is what the media shows us as successful women. It's not a coincidence that the "Don't give up" mantra takes a considerable place in our minds.
I chose to write about expectations last January, mainly because we make thousands of resolutions at the beginning of the year. Frequently, we have to make concessions to achieve it. After three months, I can say that I've already crossed off several items from my own list.
I believe this has to do with the very nature of being a woman - to try to do more than we can handle. But, also, with the "no pain, no gain" culture. Stories with "happy endings," that is, people who gain prominence in their field, invariably go through the hero's journey. These are narratives loaded with suffering and deprivation of all kinds (sleep, money, quality of life) in the name of a great goal.
The "grand finale" is the podium, the top of the world! Our society is obsessed with the first place. You cannot be average; you have to be the best. The first place is always celebrated; the second, forgotten. In this scenario, it's common to feel like a failure or a "loser" when we give up on something.
To write about it reminded me of a Netflix series that completely subverted my perception about this subject. "Losers" presents eight real-life stories of athletes who made huge mistakes or just bad choices. Instead of focusing on the humiliation, the episodes show how they rethought their careers and changed their lives. It shows that, sometimes, failure can be a blessing. Those are very inspiring narratives. But I still find it challenging to know when to give up.
There are useful tips around, though. One of the things I found most realistic is to think: "what is done is done." It’s worthless to sacrifice your future trying to recover what you invested in the past. Overall, do you want to spend more time, money, and energy on something that is making you unhappy?
Another way to find an answer is the so-called gut feeling. We know the answer most of the time, but we keep attached to an idea, maybe because we fear others' opinions. We are afraid of not fulfilling the roles that are expected of us. In a Bustle magazine article, Lara Rutherford-Morrison came up with a sharp tip. If the idea of giving up on something brings relief to you, probably you already have the answer.
After all, what helps me more is a sentence that my sister (who acts as a therapist sometimes for me!) said to me. "Try not to think of giving up, but, instead, of reorganizing your priorities." I found this statement very powerful! It's important to remind ourselves that we have the right to change our minds and choose a different path anytime. Something that is a priority right now could be meaningless tomorrow.
To think this way may not lead us to the top of the world. But it will set us free for sure.
Questions about crypto and blockchain that you were too shy to ask
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I know we often postpone learning new concepts, so in this article I'd like to introduce you to an easy-to-understand way to two words you have probably heard in the past few months: blockchain and bitcoin.
We should first clarify that blockchains and crypto assets represent the convergence of technology and finance. This is not just finance, it is not just tech, it’s both worlds merged.
A blockchain operates as a public record of financial transactions, or a database that stores information in a secure and transparent way.
In addition to recording the purchase and sale of cryptocurrencies like bitcoin, the blockchain can also be used for real estate registration, among many other uses. Regarding cryptocurrencies, blockchain allows the operation of a secure and transparent financial network.
Furthermore, it is a way to circulate bitcoin in a safe and transparent manner, ensuring trust and transparency between transactions. So, that's why blockchain was introduced along with Bitcoin in mid-2008.
In a blockchain, each transaction must be validated by another computer on the network, and this is one of the functions of the technology that ensures user security.
Bitcoin is a decentralized digital currency that does not require third parties to function. It means you do not need a bank or financial institution to move your money, but perhaps bitcoin's most prominent characteristic is its independence from governments.
No government, no central bank, no country controls bitcoin trading or issuance, and that is why it is so disruptive because with bitcoin (and other crypto), we have a real alternative to geopolitical monetary control. We are witnessing something unprecedented in modern history.
Nobody knows who invented all of this. In October 2008 (at the height of the subprime crisis), a person using the pseudonym of Satoshi Nakamoto published the Bitcoin White Paper, explaining how the system would work.
There are numerous theories about who Satoshi is, including the popular theory that blockchain and bitcoin were created by a team of developers, not a single person.
When it comes to new and disruptive technologies, we are all learning, and I hope this article clarifies some concepts behind bitcoin, blockchain, and crypto in general.
The next article in this series will explore the world of cryptocurrencies and discover the most popular digital assets affecting our everyday lives, as well as how countries deal with the threat of a decentralized monetary system.
Every woman has her cry
Every woman has her cry. And no, we're not crazy.
Abused. Vilified. Monitored. Raped. DISMISSED. Judged.
Ignored... Made invisible Hit. Murdered. Silenced. Subjugated.
"Nós", by Ocí Ferreira
What’s the cycle of violence for each woman?
The question isn’t if it happens, but when, how and how often? How to be apart from each one of them to struggle with the increasingly inaccurate reality and reheated daily doses of goals to be met? The deadline doesn’t leave room for the dream to shine. Neither dignity finds place on the technological runway of consumption and happiness. The imperfect body is not a fit anymore for a soul that craves for more. The value of the work doesn’t belong to you. A clean house, it’s the least you are supposed to do. Your money doesn’t belong to you.
At times, domestic violence arrives in a sneaky way and adapts very well in the relationship dynamics experienced by a huge part of the couples. The result of a historically sexist and patriarchal society that, since ancient civilizations, relegates women to the responsibility of reproductive and domestic activities and restricts their bodily and lives autonomy, sediments its existence in the commonplace that finances are better managed by rationality and resistance to the impulses towards consumerist waste that only a man can have, being seen as the natural and indisputable designation for keeping accounts up to date and making decisions.
Often, domestic violence is hidden under the veil of care when a woman has her salary withheld by a partner through the allegation of better control of the bills; when she is told she shouldn’t work outside to dedicate herself to household chores; when one effectively forbids her from having a formal job; when some document or good is retained; when one controls your cell phone, violating your privacy and restricting your freedom to communicate with friends and family.
There are subtle ways – others not so much – that make it difficult for victims of domestic violence to recognize themselves in such a place. It rarely occurs isolated, being accompanied by other types of violence such as physical and/or psychological, making the path of rebuilding dignity and trust even more difficult. Following the awareness and keeping in mind that this woman will remain immerse in a capitalist and patriarchal society in the very short term, how can she have minimum conditions to survive considering she has been deprived – maybe during all her adult life – of professional experiences that would allow her to acquire essential skills for the job market?
Sometimes, for us women, all we can do is scream. Release that internal cry which leads us to movement, to a place of hope and to the fight for a more dignified future. When many say “no!”, shout, and say “yes!”. Knowing that won’t be easy and staggering in some moments, get up and start over.
“Lift up your eyes upon; This day breaking for you; Give birth again; To the dream.”
Maya Angelou
The development of a small business is a way many women found to generate autonomous income. In addition to the historical and conjectural obstacles to entering the formal job market, the impossibility that many have to be absent full time to care for the home and children, they take advantage of some previous skill in the areas of gastronomy, woodworking, sewing or beauty and aesthetics, among others, to boost the initiative, using, often, a room in the house as a space for service or working exclusively online.
Of course, contrary to what the hegemonic discourse suggests, entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone, and it’s an illusion to think that you can get rich quickly and easily. Without study and preparation, most just survive. In Brazil, as an example, the internal report “Survival of Brazilian mercantile companies” indicates that 21.6% of small business (ME– in the acronym, in Portuguese) and 29% of individual small business (MEI) close after five years of operation activities. Training focused on small-business management, financial education, customer service or online marketing can be essential to financial sustainability in the medium and long term.
A successful example is the work developed by the Brazilian civil society organization Aliança Empreendedora (Entrepreneurs Alliance). It offers content, development tools and free online courses for low-income microentrepreneurs. The digital platform ‘Tamo Junto’, winner of the MIT Solve Global Challenge 2020 award from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) is available on its website. It’s possible to enroll in certified courses with a central focus on women, such as Financial education for women entrepreneurs,‘Innovating in times of crisis and‘Digital marketing for women entrepreneurs.
Furthermore, in partnership with the International Organization for Migration (IOM) and funding from the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), within the scope of the Oportunidades Project, the 'Tamo Junto' platform has won its Spanish version, 'Estamos Juntos', so that the Hispanic-speaking migrant population in Brazil can carry out training with greater ease. This initiative seeks to respond to specific demands that migrants or refugees may have in the process of adapting and building financial autonomy in a new country.
In his book Days and Nights of Love and War, Eduardo Galeano conveyed the peculiar reality of exile as follows:
“Suddenly, you are under foreign skies and in lands where people speak and feel differently, and even your memory doesn’t have people to share nor places to recognize yourself in. You have to fight with all you have to earn your living and your sleep, and you feel as if you were crippled, with so much missing. You're tempted to whine, the viscous domain of nostalgia and death, and you run the risk of living with your head turned backward, a living death, which is one way to prove that a system which scorns the living is right. Ever since we were children, and in the hypocrisy of funerals, we have been taught that death is something that improves people.”
Street War, Soul War
Well, in addition to the living and sleeping, as women, we must fight to have a voice.
Mentoring programs that encourage knowledge and skills sharing among women, generating a continuous network of support and solidarity, can also be crucial for the economic emancipation of all – some even providing for the delivery of seed capital for the participants to stimulate their businesses. The sense of community combined with a safe space for exchanging experiences and ideas enhances trust and hope for better days. In a world where competition reigns, to cooperate is to revolutionize.
Even not representing immediate changes in the patriarchal structure from which arises the several types of violence against women, including domestic, the examples of the initiatives presented in this article appear as possible alternatives to women that seek financial independence. And emotional. So that they don't hurt us anymore. In addition to smiling, we have the right to scream. Scream when we wake up and our first thought is how we will survive the day. Scream when laying down is no longer pleasurable or when the body aches in anguish. Scream, so our souls can bleed, after all.
Every woman has her cry. And no, we're not crazy.
Immigrating with Papers
The privilege, expectations, and reality of immigrating with "papers."
On January 1st, 2009, I flew to New York City with my one-way ticket from my Brazilian hometown of Uberlândia, Minas Gerais. Talk about "new year, new me." So, as I celebrate 13 years since immigrating, I want to share a bit of my journey: the privilege, expectations, and misconceptions.
You see, I knew I would move to the U.S. at an early age. My mother, Cleusa, immigrated to NYC in 1996 when I was only two years old. I stayed back home with my sister and my grandmother. Upon arrival, she knew her goal and mission were to ensure the best for her family and bring her two daughters to live with her. After years of hard work, sacrifices, challenges, and saudade, she became an American Citizen. Shortly after that, Cleusa applied for her daughters’ Green Cards. And in 2003, my sister and I got the coveted document and began visiting our mom. I didn't move to NYC until after I graduated 8th grade to start High School. My sister came after two years in 2011, a year after receiving her bachelor's degree in accounting.
We had what many consider the essential tools to a successful path and transition as an immigrant: the "papers," slang for Green Card or American Citizenship, used by other immigrants I know. The English skills, which I started studying when I was six years old. And family support: which was our mother. We acknowledge our privilege and thank her for all she did to bring us, since we wouldn't be where we are today without her strength. Of course, the resiliency and hard work we inherited from our mom helped us reach our goals and milestones.
However, a few misconceptions are associated with immigrants with "papers" or those who get their Green Card shortly after moving to the U.S.
Don't get me wrong: this post is in no way undermining the privileged experience of being considered an immigrant with legal residency or naturalization status in the U.S. But for many years, I felt bad about feeling bad.
I forgot to mention that I didn't want to move to NYC when I did. My sister and my two best friends—also young Brazilians who immigrated with a Green Card—felt the same way. We came here because it was decided for us, and we had no choice. Or at least it felt that way at the time. We were told by family members and friends: "Be thankful! So many people would do anything to be in your position! You MUST succeed and do well!"
While our family and support system had good intentions behind these statements (and we have succeeded and overcame challenges and stereotypes), they didn't realize that this pressure could turn into guilt, lack of self-confidence, and burnout. Here are some things I expected early on and the reality I encountered myself in.
Regardless of your immigration status and English proficiency, the feeling of being an outsider will still be there. And that's ok.
When I moved, I thought I wouldn't feel like an outsider because I knew English and had my documents. But as an immigrant, no matter how long you've lived in your new country, you will face situations in which people will find ways to remind you that you are not from there. Someone might tell you not to worry about it, work hard and improve your English skills, and you'll feel more like part of that society. That's the expectation. I once had a journalism professor tell me to "lose my accent" to be more “marketable”. I told him I didn't think it'd be a problem since I wanted to go for print journalism, but that stuck with me.
But even with good knowledge of the language and culture, I often felt that the stereotypes that accompanied my background would speak louder than my capabilities. That happened in high school, college, and even my master's program. The reality? That's their problem and ignorance, not yours. Confidence helped me get past that and understand that being an immigrant shouldn't make me feel uncomfortable: it's my superpower. It was confidence that helped me speak up against intolerance. It took years to build it, and I didn't expect it would be this hard. But here we are!
Don't burn yourself out to overcompensate immigrant guilt. And don't lowball yourself, either.
It's important to acknowledge the sacrifices made by others to get us to where we are today. However, acknowledging it isn't the same thing as letting it dictate how you live and feel. There's an expectation that children of immigrants, especially those with the "papers," need to break generational curses. I felt so bad anytime I wasn't happy in this country. I felt terrible when I couldn't do well in school, and that guilt of not doing well just made me do worst. It was a snowball effect. It followed me in my professional life, where even though I had the opportunity to work full-time and get paid a salary, I was afraid to ask for what I deserved and establish boundaries.
Thoughts such as: "People would do anything to be in my shoes," or, "My mom had to sacrifice so much and worked so hard to get us here, I shouldn't complain," would consume me at times. The reality was that those feelings made it harder to move forward and clouded my judgment, and some of my friends felt the same way.
Once I opened up and understood that my feelings were valid (thank you, therapy!), good things started to happen. It was then that I could negotiate salaries at jobs or better conditions in all relationships in my life (personal and professional).
And lastly... We're all in this together.
Immigrants, regardless of legal status, are all in this growth process together. People shouldn't treat a group better based on their status, and every journey is worth it. There's nothing sadder than fellow immigrants putting others down based on their status or backgrounds: I witnessed that a lot in my years studying at an international High School, and after. To be seen and respected by everyone, we should start in our communities.
I’m not biking this year (again)
Every time I say I don’t know how to ride a bike it is like suddenly there’s a stage light focused on me, that will follow me wherever I go for the next five minutes I’ll spend explaining the reasons why I’m not getting on a citibike. New year, same shit. Every time I say I’m also not interested in learning something new at such an old age. Yes, I am 24. No, I’m not old for everything. Yes, I am still young. But not to have scratches on my knee or to put myself deliberately, purposely, in situations of failure. Dude, if I wanna feel like a failure, I just have to look at my bank account after spending three hours on tiktok. Plus, I do not need to wear a helmet. My head is watermelon shaped and everyone knows we, the watermelon society, cannot and will not wrap anything around it. But back to the biking thing, people seem to be so much more bothered than I am about the fact I will never get ass cramps and stories about how the other day a truck almost ran over me. Of course, there were moments in my life where I wished I knew how to sit on two moving wheels, like when I was in Amsterdam, for example – I almost created a new kind of oppression in those ten days I spent there. Obviously, I walked everywhere I went and my friend, who has lived immersed in the bike tribe for years now, was surprisingly the most supportive person about my great lack of mobility. Maybe I was getting a second wind, when you’re surrounded by a certain environment everything different from it seems better. I mean, as a New Yorker I will never appreciate a slow-paced walker, but, in another environment, I think it’s amazing to just… walk by in no rush. My decision of not riding a bike this year, like all the other years before this one, comes also from the realization of the verbal sentence I use. Never in my life have I said, “I want to know how to ride a bike.” It’s always “I wish I knew.” Meaning that, I wish it happened before when I cared less, when I had less attachment to my spine and knees, more courage to give myself a chance to fall. I hate New Year’s resolutions (since 2020 – I’ve learned my lesson, thank you very much) and I didn’t think too much about what I want for this year. But definitely, though, I hope to be giving more shits about what I want to know rather than the things I wish I knew.
What inflation is and how to handle it
What inflation is and how to handle it
For many of us, inflation is a word that belongs in the past and was just in Economy history books. Now, it is almost everywhere, and you probably already realized prices are changing on grocery store shelves around you.
But what exactly is inflation?
Simply put, inflation is the rise in prices of goods and services. It happens when the demand for those goods and services is higher than companies can provide them. If there's a scarcity of those items, they become more valuable and prices go up.
In other words, goods and services become more expensive, and your money becomes worthless.
However, all of it was kind of predictable. To fight the pandemic, central banks across the globe boosted their economies with low-interest rates and other measures to keep things running during lockdowns. The current inflation also reflects the huge difficulties in the global supply chain - again, a pandemic effect.
In the United States, the Consumer Price Index (CPI) measures the average change in prices over time for a basket of goods and services in urban areas. As of November, the CPI had increased 6.8% from the previous year - its largest increase in almost 40 years.
How to deal with inflation?
There is no magical solution for inflation, but a few simple tips could prevent you from making mistakes that may hurt your finances. Knowing your financial priorities and goals is one of the most important resources in those moments.
In times of inflation, lifestyle and expenses should be kept simple. It's crucial to not overspend on your credit card. Due to the upward inflation, we may soon see interest rates rise, which means your credit card interest will go up, too. The other side of rising interest rates is that your savings account will earn you more interest. If you use a savings account, make sure it has a high yield.
Don't stop investing for retirement, either. Maintaining your financial goals, diversifying your investments and avoiding debt now can save you time and money down the road.
Meanwhile, you might see your Social Security or Supplemental Security Income benefits increase because consumer prices are rising. The Social Security Administration announced an increase in benefits of 5.9 percent for 2022.
Additionally, you can use apps and search to find cheaper prices and special offers. Wait until supply issues are resolved and prices are lower before making unnecessary purchases.
We do not know how long inflation will last, but we can expect some price pressure in the months ahead. Prepare your finances, so you don't have any surprises in 2022.
About expectations
Balancing expectations for the year ahead is tough but necessary
Photo by Nagara Oyodo on Unsplash
Talk about expectations in the first month of the year - such a cliché, right? Let me tell you something in advance: I'm not an expert on this subject. In fact, I'm quite the opposite - I'm always trying to manage the fantasy scenarios that I create in my mind. This is exactly why I chose to write about this at the beginning of 2022.
We all know that January represents hope for those who believe that a new year brings 365 new opportunities. After everything we have experienced in the last two years, expectations are even bigger. Most of us have big plans, looking forward to resuming the lives that we paused due to the pandemic. Keeping an optimistic mind is a good thing. Still, we have to be realistic: the Covid-19 crisis taught us, by force, that our "dream script" is not always within our reach.
Knowing to calibrate expectations is similar to dealing with frustrations. Sometimes, our plans don't go as we envision. It could be a long-awaited event that was canceled, or turned out to be boring. An unsuccessful job interview; a change of address that did not happen; a relationship that didn't work out as expected. An unforeseen health issue that forces you to change your routine. And, of course, sometimes, we get frustrated with ourselves.
Anyway, frustration is in everybody's lives. The secret is how we prepare ourselves for these unwanted route changes. It's always helpful to have a plan B. But, to protect our mental health against all the anxiety around this time of year, it's important to set more achievable goals.
In that sense, I found a practical tip: lists. I know - this is not big news. But I'm not talking about that kind of list that we used to do in January, with abstract intentions like "be healthier" or "save money." I'm talking about simpler but tangible tasks.
This idea is not new either, and there are even some methods to do it more efficiently. Like the SMART method, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely. I recommend you to learn more about it if you are facing a hard time getting out of the cycle of procrastination. Here, I will focus on the "S" letter.
Big plans carry big expectations. And it is not uncommon to think that we need a vast revolution to reach a particular goal. Like the "be healthier" thing. What does it even mean? Be able to run a marathon? Quit drinking? Don't eat fast food ever again?
How about being nicer with you and thinking about minor adjustments that can be affordable? It's hard to sustain drastic changes in the long term. It's easier to give up and then get frustrated with yourself. So, baby steps.
Maybe instead of making an extensive list for 365 healthier days, with vague goals, try to organize just the following week. What about a daily short walk or a bike ride to a less sedentary day? A 10-minute stretch in the morning upon waking up to activate the joints? A colorful and delicious salad for dinner, trying a new recipe? Being proud of those small accomplishments is a good antidote against the anxiety generated by high expectations.
Gratitude vibes alarm
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Another tip about this subject is gratitude. Thanks to the toxic positivity that we see every day on Instagram, this word has been misused. However, we could use some gratefulness after those two challenging years.
When we have high expectations about a relationship or a situation, it's because we want to make the most of that experience. Of course, it is nice to project good feelings about our plans. But it's not possible to have just memorable experiences. Unlike what social media makes us believe, regular life has good and bad days. Good and not-so-good relationships, meals, jobs, trips.
In "Fear of Missing Out: Practical Decision-Making in a World of Overwhelming Choice," Patrick J. McGinnis, the creator of the acronym "FOMO," introduces another concept: FOBO. The "Fear Of Best Option" is "an anxiety-driven urge to hold out for something better based on the perception that a more favorable alternative or choice might exist."
In the book, he explains that we lose a lot (time, energy, money, happiness) when we keep following the illusion of perfection. When we have so many expectations about all the available options out there (and we still don't have them), we cannot see what we already have here.
In other words, when we are concerned with reaching high expectations, we are not content with the things we have already achieved. So, be grateful for what you have today. Overall, if we are here, it's because we are survivors. And we have a brand-new year ahead.
Let Us Age in Peace
It’s no news that us women face a lot of pressure. From having thriving careers, being perfect mothers, to keeping up with unrealistic beauty standards. No wonder women are more burned out than men. But in addition to balancing it all, we are also expected to prevent one of the most inevitable things in life: aging.
We begin using anti aging products in our early 20s, we do fillers, Botox and various beauty rituals that are questionably unhealthy. Some of us are even unwilling to share our actual ages, or feel that speaking about things like menopause is taboo or unattractive.
We get the pressure to maintain a youthful look from everywhere: fashion magazines, advertising and, of course, social media. There is no denying that these platforms have a huge effect on how we see ourselves. From the filters designed to make people look younger, to the highly curated images influencers post on Instagram; social media can reinforce the mentality that looking young is a prerequisite to feeling beautiful.
TV, and movies are also flooded with images of smooth, wrinkle-free skin. And while oftentimes we know these pictures are photoshopped, it’s very easy to feel the pressure. But this year, female celebrities have discussed ageist standards set in Hollywood. In an interview with The New York Times, Kate Winslet said she wanted to send back two posters in which she felt her face had been photoshopped: “I’m like, guys, I know how many lines I have by the side of my eye, please put them all back.”
Sarah Jessica Parker also recently came forward to condemn ageist commentary when she was mocked and criticized across social media for “looking old.” Read that again. Let that sink in please…
In response, she told Vogue that “Everyone has something to say. ‘She has too many wrinkles, she doesn’t have enough wrinkles.’ It almost feels as if people don’t want us to be perfectly okay with where we are, as if they almost enjoy us being pained by who we are today, whether we choose to age naturally and not look perfect, or whether you do something if that makes you feel better. I know what I look like. I have no choice. What am I going to do about it? Stop aging? Disappear?”
She is right. The only alternative to aging is disappearing, aka: dying. And as our dear Maria Bethânia once said: “aging is a privilege.”
So, as we approach the end of 2021, a really challenging year for all of us, I began to reflect on the absurdity of the pressure to look young. Look, we survived all the hardships of the pandemic and all the sociopolitical issues going on in the world. Here we are, despite it all. And just the fact that we are sane and alive is already an accomplishment.
As we wrap up the year, let’s remind ourselves that aging is something to be celebrated. We should feel free to honor the marks on our bodies documenting just how deeply we have lived, from the wrinkles we got from smiling, to the body changes that we got from giving birth.
Aging is obviously challenging—physically and emotionally. The human body is bound to change with the years, and well, change is never easy. But instead of fighting against it, what about embracing who we are and honoring the history written in our flesh? What about instead of fixating on how young we look, we focus on our health and wellbeing?
While it is fun to take care of our skin and bodies, we all know there is a big difference between doing it out of love or hate of our bodies. Let’s give ourselves a break. Society, please let women age in peace.
Burnout Society
Is everybody tired...or is it just me?
A few years ago, I developed a habit I can't get rid of: I'm always reading two or three books at once. It's the same with TV shows. It doesn't matter how attached I am with one series; as soon as I discover that a new season I was waiting for is available, I immediately start to watch both simultaneously. I feel that I'm cheating on the characters, but I can't avoid it. Definitely, I'm not a monogamist when it comes to content consumption.
This pattern is also present in my daily activities. It seems wiser for me to try to combine tasks: cook while watching an interview or a lecture; do physical activities while listening to a podcast; check Twitter during the few seconds that the elevator takes to go from the ground to my floor. It’s possible to disconnect and relax, but oddly unnatural. Mainly because I'm a writer, everything that I watch, read, and listen to turns into work material.
Multitasking has long been praised as a female trait, but eventually, we discovered that this "special power" just makes us feel tired and insufficient. The feeling that we are not doing enough is something shared by millions of people.
It's not exactly a surprise that the word "burnout," which was first recognized as a psychological diagnosis in 1974, is a trend almost fifty years later. "The Burnout Society," written and launched by the Korean philosopher Byung-Chul Han in 2010, returned to the spotlight.
The World Health Organization (WHO) doesn't classify it as a medical condition, but as an "occupational phenomenon,"characterized by "feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one's job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and reduced professional efficacy." There is a forecast that, as of 2022, the WHO will classify the condition as a work-related illness, which could remove the "blame" from employees for their own exhaustion. In this scenario, companies can be held responsible for the condition in labor lawsuits.
Whether or not you meet all the requirements for this diagnosis and beyond work-related concerns, latent exhaustion is affecting people worldwide. There is plenty of research that indicates the rise of the number of burnout cases and psychological issues linked with fatigue. Besides that, another feeling may make us feel overwhelmed; called "languishing," defined by Adam Grant as a "sense of stagnation and emptiness" in this New York Times article.
It seems understandable after all the stress, sadness, and grief due to the pandemic. But maybe it's time to start to practice some self-compassion and recognize that we need to slow down.
"No pain, no gain": really? In 2021?
In "Can't Even: How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation" (2020), Anne Helen Petersen addresses the possible reasons why we are so tired. One of them is the generational conflict between Boomers (born 1946-1964) and Millennials (born 1981-1996). The former raised the latter (their children), telling them that degrees and hard work are the only paths to have financial stability. Indeed, "the American dream" was reachable for certain groups in the past.
But now, the world is different. After Covid-19, the global economic crisis extensively increased social inequality and unemployment. The "lucky ones" who have a job have to deal with poor working conditions, low wages, and high competitiveness.
Meanwhile, social media is an invitation for comparison, making us feel that our success or failures depend only on our willpower. The "no pain, no gain" culture is the icing on the cake for capitalism. There is no more effective way to press people to work harder than guilt.
Although hard work doesn't guarantee financial security anymore, people feel the obligation to perform all the time - even during leisure moments -, showing off their "best self." Thanks to the motivational coaches epidemic that exploded recently, and, of course, to the influencer culture, with the enactment of their supposedly perfect lives. Thus, if you gained weight during the pandemic or missed a work deadline, you know: it's only your fault. You didn't do enough. That's what they say.
The toxic positivity in social media measures our worth in "likes". In this scenario, it's tempting to try to do what everyone else is doing, not considering our context and particularities. And that's what's making us sick, increasing depression, anxiety, alcohol and drug abuse, insomnia, loneliness, digital addiction, and so on.
Photo by Oscar Keys on Unsplash
Keep an eye on the signs
In this Harvard Business Review article, professors Margaret M. Luciano and Joan F. Brett warn that it's easier to avoid a burnout crisis than treat it, so they list several indicators that can be a red flag. Knowing that, maybe you can pay more attention to your inner signs.
Furthermore, if you are experiencing exhaustion, you can find ways to cope with this and gradually recreate a healthier routine. You can try some experts' tips, like the usual but powerful ones: cultivate meaningful relationships; do a digital detox, and see a therapist if you feel that you can't manage it.
One of the most important, though, is knowing how to set limits and say "no." And it's not just about work, but also about the boundaries for friends, relatives, and loved ones. Above all, it's crucial to set limits for ourselves. We can't attend all the events, read all the books, or keep up with all the series. I'm telling it to myself.
I'm trying to learn something from people who already suffered from burnout and shared their experiences through their books. My reading list grows, and Byung-Chul Han is there, waiting for me to read him. But, right now, I just can't because I'm a little bit tired.
My electric kettle and other boiling observations
Today, the electric kettle I bought (because I saw one in the house of my first employers) broke. I was eighteen and fascinated by the way they unscrewed the bubbling water to serve the-worst-coffee-you-can-drink. I would think, “only Brazilian beans will come to my house.” From that day on I wanted so much my hot water to be boiled in modernity in seconds, I wanted a decline on the curve of my graph of domestic disaster, I wanted the possibility of silent explosion, with a blue button that changes from blue to gray and turn itself off when ready. Six years ago, I decided that on my next paycheck, I would buy an electric kettle. When that Friday came, I remember browsing the online list around with my eyes wide open. Hoping to find the prettiest kettle my money could buy. For no more than seventeen US dollars, my white kettle arrived well-packed with accents that light up blue and gray. The kettle moved with me to every nook and corner that I’ve ever fled to call home, to every house I prepared, molded, the ones that I ran away again, to all kitchens I shared, even the ones I didn't clean, the ones that needed extermination … It was packed in all the boxes I filled when I gave up, every time I had to rebuild the concept of home. It remained on top of all the marble-counters that I spilled coffee drops throughout these 6 years. I remember I tried to start drinking hot tea during quarantine, but really I’m a fan of iced tea, which made my kettle useful for everything but tea. It boiled my water for coffee and rice and pasta and dumplings and anything else you needed of water in the state-of-little-bubbles. An electric kettle turns itself off and for all these years I didn't get used to the button dropping in a little noise: “click” it would go. And whenever I did “click” I thought, “click,” dammit, that's it, it's over! It knew its boiling point and “click!” the button moves. Just one sudden yet soft noise – it falls, as if I've never pressed it. It goes “click,” as if I've never made my own “click” to put it up. The kettle says “click” as if to say, “I know when it’s time to stop.” People say that when I laugh, I make a kettle sound. Secretly, I think to myself that this person mustn’t have an electric one. Because mine goes “click” and I certainly don't laugh like “click-click-click.” Honestly, it would actually be great, imagine! Laughing with such precision, laughing like someone who announces the right end for a choice, a decision, a phase, that boiled for long enough. My kettle died in the worst way: it lost its energy. Burned, it burned like every technology’s fate. After all, for seventeen dollars, I should’ve known better if I wanted it to last as long as I would, too, or until I developed an emotional technology to understand life’s boiling points. I was also half dead and burned out when she died. As a person who always found a very interesting life in things and objects, now that I have to think about how to discard an electronic teapot that lost its technology it feels like planning (as dramatic as it sounds) a funeral of a part of me. Mind you, this is not a letter of repudiation to the traditional iron kettle (the one that never leaves the top of that-one-piece stove) we are also very good friends, from time to time, we even gossip about our old-look issues. This is a type of farewell letter to my many observations that were only possible because of this magic kettle. A letter that bids farewell to the 18 years old me, who bought her very first home appliance. As I write, I started to think about it all. I just checked through the window to see if the kettle was still there in the recyclable garbage bin. It looks sad and very unprepared for this type of environment. My kettle was always positioned with so much love in the many homes I've had. Probably when I finish writing and go out to start my day without its “click,” I'll rescue it. Not to accumulate, I'm not that type of person, but maybe for a photoshoot because nothing is more tech than this. Maybe for one more conversation - because nothing is more “me.”
Why I returned my Apple Watch
Credit: Unsplash (Luke Chesser)
Last year, my husband surprised me with a gift I have been dying for: an Apple Watch. I have been eyeing one of those for quite some time, but I am too thrifty to spend $300 dollars - or more - on a watch, even if it is worth it.
Yeah… about time! Finally, I got what I wanted, but not what I really needed. So, after about 20 minutes of admiring my lovely gift, I decided to pack it up and return it. It may seem rude of me, but I told my husband I wanted to do something better with the money. Rather than an Apple Watch, I wanted Apple stock instead.
As time went by, it proved to be an excellent exchange. I got into a bull market (a slang term for when the markets are on a positive trend) and multiplied that value by 3 in a few months. Since then, I have been thinking about how that watch would look now... outdated, with a cracked screen, or making me reliant on it. Probably all of them.
I don't blame you for upgrading your devices every year. You should do whatever makes you happy, but make sure it's really what you want. I am saying this because I have recently been consuming things that I do not need or wish for... they just came up to me (such as that Apple Watch) and I have become trapped in social media's seller strategy.
According to some reports, women are responsible for about 75% of all consumption worldwide... so the majority of all publicity is also geared toward us. To make us look better, cooler, hotter, smarter, and, eventually, poorer.
As an example, if you set aside $300 a month for 35 years at a yield of 10% per year, you will get more than $1 million after that time. I know, 35 years may seem like a long time, but that money can act as a "security roof" when you retire. What will your financial situation look like in 35 years if you keep your current financial habits?
With that said, you – and me – should not wait until January to start a new way of handling money. In the holiday season (and don't forget Black Friday is just around the corner), we are more likely to fall into those traps: consuming for no reason, being broke for longer than we expected.
The holiday shopping season might be a good time to get something not only to spoil yourself today, but to treat yourself in the future as well.
I have some tips to encourage you to take care right now for the future you:
Ensure you check the prices ahead of time if you need or want to buy something, so you can avoid those kinds of "super Black Friday deals" that actually cost double what you would pay a few weeks before.
Stick to a budget when shopping for the holidays. This will help you avoid overspending on marketing tactics.
Pay in cash, avoid using credit cards. That piece of plastic is the reason many of us are in debt. Those funds are not yours, they're a loan. Place a note on your credit card labeled "loan card." This will make you more cautious about using it.
Coming back to my "consumer drama", returning that watch wasn't easy in the end, and believe me when I say that I would love to keep it. But making this decision has given me more than profits. Since then, I have more confidence to say no to things I want today and build things I need tomorrow.
Financial independence is not really about how much we make, but how much we preserve. In finance, and in life, let's keep returning the watches we don't need.