Let Us Age in Peace
It’s no news that us women face a lot of pressure. From having thriving careers, being perfect mothers, to keeping up with unrealistic beauty standards. No wonder women are more burned out than men. But in addition to balancing it all, we are also expected to prevent one of the most inevitable things in life: aging.
We begin using anti aging products in our early 20s, we do fillers, Botox and various beauty rituals that are questionably unhealthy. Some of us are even unwilling to share our actual ages, or feel that speaking about things like menopause is taboo or unattractive.
We get the pressure to maintain a youthful look from everywhere: fashion magazines, advertising and, of course, social media. There is no denying that these platforms have a huge effect on how we see ourselves. From the filters designed to make people look younger, to the highly curated images influencers post on Instagram; social media can reinforce the mentality that looking young is a prerequisite to feeling beautiful.
TV, and movies are also flooded with images of smooth, wrinkle-free skin. And while oftentimes we know these pictures are photoshopped, it’s very easy to feel the pressure. But this year, female celebrities have discussed ageist standards set in Hollywood. In an interview with The New York Times, Kate Winslet said she wanted to send back two posters in which she felt her face had been photoshopped: “I’m like, guys, I know how many lines I have by the side of my eye, please put them all back.”
Sarah Jessica Parker also recently came forward to condemn ageist commentary when she was mocked and criticized across social media for “looking old.” Read that again. Let that sink in please…
In response, she told Vogue that “Everyone has something to say. ‘She has too many wrinkles, she doesn’t have enough wrinkles.’ It almost feels as if people don’t want us to be perfectly okay with where we are, as if they almost enjoy us being pained by who we are today, whether we choose to age naturally and not look perfect, or whether you do something if that makes you feel better. I know what I look like. I have no choice. What am I going to do about it? Stop aging? Disappear?”
She is right. The only alternative to aging is disappearing, aka: dying. And as our dear Maria Bethânia once said: “aging is a privilege.”
So, as we approach the end of 2021, a really challenging year for all of us, I began to reflect on the absurdity of the pressure to look young. Look, we survived all the hardships of the pandemic and all the sociopolitical issues going on in the world. Here we are, despite it all. And just the fact that we are sane and alive is already an accomplishment.
As we wrap up the year, let’s remind ourselves that aging is something to be celebrated. We should feel free to honor the marks on our bodies documenting just how deeply we have lived, from the wrinkles we got from smiling, to the body changes that we got from giving birth.
Aging is obviously challenging—physically and emotionally. The human body is bound to change with the years, and well, change is never easy. But instead of fighting against it, what about embracing who we are and honoring the history written in our flesh? What about instead of fixating on how young we look, we focus on our health and wellbeing?
While it is fun to take care of our skin and bodies, we all know there is a big difference between doing it out of love or hate of our bodies. Let’s give ourselves a break. Society, please let women age in peace.
