About expectations

Balancing expectations for the year ahead is tough but necessary

Photo by Nagara Oyodo on Unsplash

Talk about expectations in the first month of the year - such a cliché, right? Let me tell you something in advance: I'm not an expert on this subject. In fact, I'm quite the opposite - I'm always trying to manage the fantasy scenarios that I create in my mind. This is exactly why I chose to write about this at the beginning of 2022. 

We all know that January represents hope for those who believe that a new year brings 365 new opportunities. After everything we have experienced in the last two years, expectations are even bigger. Most of us have big plans, looking forward to resuming the lives that we paused due to the pandemic. Keeping an optimistic mind is a good thing. Still, we have to be realistic: the Covid-19 crisis taught us, by force, that our "dream script" is not always within our reach. 

Knowing to calibrate expectations is similar to dealing with frustrations. Sometimes, our plans don't go as we envision. It could be a long-awaited event that was canceled, or turned out to be boring. An unsuccessful job interview; a change of address that did not happen; a relationship that didn't work out as expected. An unforeseen health issue that forces you to change your routine. And, of course, sometimes, we get frustrated with ourselves. 

Anyway, frustration is in everybody's lives. The secret is how we prepare ourselves for these unwanted route changes. It's always helpful to have a plan B. But, to protect our mental health against all the anxiety around this time of year, it's important to set more achievable goals. 

In that sense, I found a practical tip: lists. I know - this is not big news. But I'm not talking about that kind of list that we used to do in January, with abstract intentions like "be healthier" or "save money." I'm talking about simpler but tangible tasks. 

This idea is not new either, and there are even some methods to do it more efficiently. Like the SMART method, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely. I recommend you to learn more about it if you are facing a hard time getting out of the cycle of procrastination. Here, I will focus on the "S" letter. 

Big plans carry big expectations. And it is not uncommon to think that we need a vast revolution to reach a particular goal. Like the "be healthier" thing. What does it even mean? Be able to run a marathon? Quit drinking? Don't eat fast food ever again?

How about being nicer with you and thinking about minor adjustments that can be affordable? It's hard to sustain drastic changes in the long term. It's easier to give up and then get frustrated with yourself. So, baby steps. 

Maybe instead of making an extensive list for 365 healthier days, with vague goals, try to organize just the following week. What about a daily short walk or a bike ride to a less sedentary day? A 10-minute stretch in the morning upon waking up to activate the joints? A colorful and delicious salad for dinner, trying a new recipe? Being proud of those small accomplishments is a good antidote against the anxiety generated by high expectations. 

Gratitude vibes alarm

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Another tip about this subject is gratitude. Thanks to the toxic positivity that we see every day on Instagram, this word has been misused. However, we could use some gratefulness after those two challenging years.

When we have high expectations about a relationship or a situation, it's because we want to make the most of that experience. Of course, it is nice to project good feelings about our plans. But it's not possible to have just memorable experiences. Unlike what social media makes us believe, regular life has good and bad days. Good and not-so-good relationships, meals, jobs, trips. 

In "Fear of Missing Out: Practical Decision-Making in a World of Overwhelming Choice," Patrick J. McGinnis, the creator of the acronym "FOMO," introduces another concept: FOBO. The "Fear Of Best Option" is "an anxiety-driven urge to hold out for something better based on the perception that a more favorable alternative or choice might exist." 

In the book, he explains that we lose a lot (time, energy, money, happiness) when we keep following the illusion of perfection. When we have so many expectations about all the available options out there (and we still don't have them), we cannot see what we already have here.

In other words, when we are concerned with reaching high expectations, we are not content with the things we have already achieved. So, be grateful for what you have today. Overall, if we are here, it's because we are survivors. And we have a brand-new year ahead.