Every woman has her cry

Abused.   Vilified. Monitored.  Raped. DISMISSED. Judged.                                             

Ignored...              Made invisible     Hit.   Murdered.          Silenced.                                    Subjugated.

"Nós", by Ocí Ferreira

What’s the cycle of violence for each woman?

The question isn’t if it happens, but when, how and how often? How to be apart from each one of them to struggle with the increasingly inaccurate reality and reheated daily doses of goals to be met? The deadline doesn’t leave room  for the dream to shine. Neither dignity finds place on the technological runway of consumption and happiness. The imperfect body is not a fit anymore for a soul that craves for more. The value of the work doesn’t belong to you. A clean house, it’s the least you are supposed to do. Your money doesn’t belong to you.

At times, domestic violence arrives in a sneaky way and adapts very well in the relationship dynamics experienced by a huge part of the couples. The result of a historically sexist and patriarchal society that, since ancient civilizations, relegates women to the responsibility of reproductive and domestic activities and restricts their bodily and lives autonomy, sediments its existence in the commonplace that finances are better managed by rationality and resistance to the impulses towards consumerist waste that only a man can have, being seen as the natural and indisputable designation for keeping accounts up to date and making decisions.

Often, domestic violence is hidden under the veil of care when a woman has her salary withheld by a partner through the allegation of  better control of the bills; when she is told  she shouldn’t work outside to dedicate herself to household chores; when one effectively forbids her from having a formal job; when some document or good is retained; when one controls your cell phone, violating your privacy and restricting your freedom to communicate with friends and family.

There are subtle ways – others not so much – that make it difficult for victims of domestic violence to recognize themselves in such a place. It rarely occurs isolated, being accompanied by other types of violence such as physical and/or psychological, making the path of rebuilding dignity and trust even more difficult. Following the awareness and keeping in mind that this woman will remain immerse in a capitalist and patriarchal society in the very short term, how can she have minimum conditions to survive considering she has been deprived – maybe during all her adult life – of professional experiences that would allow her to acquire essential skills for the job market?

Sometimes, for us women, all we can do is scream. Release that internal cry which leads us to movement, to a place of hope and to the fight for a more dignified future. When many say “no!”, shout, and say “yes!”. Knowing that won’t be easy and staggering in some moments, get up and start over.

“Lift up your eyes upon; This day breaking for you; Give birth again; To the dream.”

Maya Angelou     

The development of a small business is a way many women found to generate autonomous income. In addition to the historical and conjectural obstacles to entering the formal job market, the impossibility that many have to be absent full time to care for the home and children, they take advantage of some previous skill in the areas of gastronomy, woodworking, sewing or beauty and aesthetics, among others, to boost the initiative, using, often, a room in the house as a space for service or working exclusively online. 

Of course, contrary to what the hegemonic discourse suggests, entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone, and it’s an illusion to think that you can get rich quickly and easily. Without study and preparation, most just survive. In Brazil, as an example, the internal report “Survival of Brazilian mercantile companies” indicates that 21.6% of small business (ME– in the acronym, in Portuguese) and 29% of individual small business (MEI) close after five years of operation activities. Training focused on small-business management, financial education, customer service or online marketing can be essential to financial sustainability in the medium and long term.

A successful example is the work developed by the Brazilian civil society organization Aliança Empreendedora (Entrepreneurs Alliance). It offers content, development tools and free online courses for low-income microentrepreneurs. The digital platform ‘Tamo Junto’, winner of the MIT Solve Global Challenge 2020 award from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) is available on its website. It’s possible to enroll in certified courses with a central focus on women, such as Financial education for women entrepreneurs,‘Innovating in times of crisis and‘Digital marketing for women entrepreneurs.

Furthermore, in partnership with the International Organization for Migration (IOM) and funding from the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), within the scope of the Oportunidades Project, the 'Tamo Junto' platform has won its Spanish version, 'Estamos Juntos', so that the Hispanic-speaking migrant population in Brazil can carry out training with greater ease. This initiative seeks to respond to specific demands that migrants or refugees may have in the process of adapting and building financial autonomy in a new country.

In his book Days and Nights of Love and War, Eduardo Galeano conveyed the peculiar reality of exile as follows:

“Suddenly, you are under foreign skies and in lands where people speak and feel differently, and even your memory doesn’t have people to share nor places to recognize yourself in. You have to fight with all you have to earn your living and your sleep, and you feel as if you were crippled, with so much missing. You're tempted to whine, the viscous domain of nostalgia and death, and you run the risk of living with your head turned backward, a living death, which is one way to prove that a system which scorns the living is right. Ever since we were children, and in the hypocrisy of funerals, we have been taught that death is something that improves people.”              

Street War, Soul War    

Well, in addition to the living and sleeping,  as women, we must fight to have a voice.

Mentoring programs that encourage knowledge and skills sharing among women, generating a continuous network of support and solidarity, can also be crucial for the economic emancipation of all – some even providing for the delivery of seed capital for the participants to stimulate their businesses. The sense of community combined with a safe space for exchanging experiences and ideas enhances trust and hope for better days. In a world where competition reigns, to cooperate is to revolutionize.

Even not representing immediate changes in the patriarchal structure from which arises the several types of violence against women, including domestic, the examples of the initiatives presented in this article appear as possible alternatives to women that seek financial independence. And emotional. So that they don't hurt us anymore. In addition to smiling, we have the right to scream. Scream when we wake up and our first thought is how we will survive the day. Scream when laying down is no longer pleasurable or when the body aches in anguish. Scream, so our souls can bleed, after all. 

Every woman has her cry. And no, we're not crazy.