After a long wait, we got vaccinated. Now what?

New York Magazine recently had a cover story about reopening anxiety. "The Return of FOMO," says the headline, with a photo of a girl looking at the horizon accompanied by millions of thoughts, all of them linked to the endless possibilities that start from now on: the return of shows, restaurants, events, parties, and, above all, meeting larger groups of people. 

The worry caused by waiting to be vaccinated still is a reality for millions of people around the world, unfortunately. But, here, especially in the states where the number of vaccinated people are progressing (like California and New York), a new type of anxiety is growing among the lucky ones who are fully vaxxed, and it's about resuming the "old normal."

Last year, we taught our brains new habits of what we called "the new normal", such as social isolation and the omnipresence of masks and hand sanitizer in our lives. When these behaviors finally are in automatic mode, we are again facing a paradigm change, which brings us some discomfort. 

Despite the vaccine, there is still a general fear and uncertainty hanging in the air. We know so little about the new variants and the long-term side effects in people who have already been infected. Some people also feel insecure because most of their relatives haven't been vaccinated yet (this is my case, since my whole family lives in Brazil). 

We understand that the vaccine doesn't solve all our problems, and returning to the life we used to have is not automatic.

If you are also feeling this way, don't worry; you are not alone. According to the American Psychological Association report 49% of Americans said they don't feel comfortable resuming personal interactions when the pandemic ends. And it's easy to understand why. 

Back to the cave

Post-pandemic anxiety has drawn specialists' attention. Some of them use the term "cave syndrome" to feature the struggle to return to social life. This is not an official disorder, recognized by the DSM-5, but it helps us to name this confused feeling: while part of us wants to return to our old social habits; the other part wants to stay in our comfy caves. 

During the pandemic, many people completely changed their lifestyles for the better. Of course, I'm talking about the ones who kept their jobs and worked from home. Overall, with all the guaranteed basic needs, it was even possible to have some advantages to their ‘new lives’. 

For instance, remote work allowed some people to migrate from urban centers to more distant places, infinitely cheaper and quieter, and with luck, even closer to nature. 

Some managed the hours once spent on the commute in a more balanced routine, with healthier eating habits, more hours of sleep, daily physical activity, and some time for hobbies. 

Finding small pleasures inside the home was also an excellent tool to preserve mental health during this period. Cleaning, gardening, playing with the dog, or baking a cake have become some of these precious joys, once forgotten when we used to be distracted by the outside world. 

And what about the beauty rituals that we could just let go, from the moment we didn't have to "perform" for anyone? Several women discovered that they don't want to dye hair, apply nail polish, wax, or use tight and uncomfortable clothes ever again. 

Suddenly, we allowed ourselves to spend a weekend binge-watching series, guiltlessly, without the fear of missing out. Everybody was doing the same (or at least they should have been), staying inside the cave to stop the virus spread, right? 

Anyway, there was no longer the urgency of the weekend; no more excuses for the parties you didn't want to go to but felt obligated because "everyone would be there." All of a sudden, staying in the cave became super fun and comfortable.

There is light at the end of the cave

Ok, your cave is warm and perfect, but so is life outside. In-person connections are essential for our well-being, so what about finding a middle ground? Here are some tips from specialists. 

→ First, don't blame yourself for feeling anxious. It has been a hard time, so it might take a while for your brain to learn the new social codes. 

→ Try not to compare yourself. It's not because your friends are already feeling comfortable going to crowded places that you must feel that way. Each person has a different rhythm and way of looking at life.

→ Go slow. If you do not feel ready to go to a place with many people, try a coffee with just one friend. Then, little by little, increase your social interactions accordingly with your needs. 

→ Use the quality over quantity rule. After a year, we could recalibrate our relationships. Now we know who the party friends and the true ones are. And this is a good thing, right? Now you can ask yourself: do I need to say "yes" to every person, to every event? Would it be better to have a smaller number of experiences with a higher quality of exchange? There is no better time to ask these questions than now.

→ Seek professional help if you realize that you can feel stuck at home. You can find more information about different anxiety disorders (including Social Anxiety Disorder) in this link. 

Lastly, every time you feel anxious, try to celebrate the gift of being vaccinated. Believe me: this is still a privilege for few.