Surviving the Pandemic With Love and Humor: a Guidance to Kindness and Self-Acceptance
I am a writer living the dream in a premature mid-life crisis during the global Covid-19 pandemic. It seems like a lot and it is. How am I surviving? Not sure yet. But I'm still here. Years ago, I promised myself I would keep on writing as long as I could breathe. The world has changed since Covid-19 has taken place. New manners, new habits. The mindset of the new normal is upon us. We are grieving things that haven't been born yet. The dream wedding; that trip to South Asia; the incredible plans we couldn't wait to run; the answers for our uneasy questions; the wonders of a better tomorrow. We, humans, love to make plans, that is how we escape the present. Reality lies in the moment we are at and the current reality kind of sucks. It was there, in the middle of the longest creative block of my life, that I had an epiphany: I am the mother of my emotions. I can not control how they are going to unveil but I can take action towards a positive response to it.
It was a regular pandemic day. Day number 176 to be exact. I woke up and nothing. I felt only the emptiness of ideas as if they have vanished overnight. I was going to write about the female body and its right to exist in the world, but the topic was too close to home and I couldn't do it. There were just too many open wounds to deal with at once. Stephen King once said that “It starts with this: put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn't in the middle of the room. Life isn't a support system for art. It's the other way around.” This quote has been my daily mantra until Day 176 of this pandemic. I used to write to survive but, what happens when the one thing you feel you are really good at no longer brings you joy? What happens when the meaningfulness of something you love suddenly fades away? What can we do to survive when the tools we have known for so long don't work anymore?
Writing has always been an expression of who I am. When I found myself incapable of writing, I was scared. Then, I realized that after six months within a global pandemic, it is a natural response to not feel ourselves. When I realized this is a temporary phase and it will pass eventually, the answer was simple: I had to wait it out. Easier said than done but, it is perfectly fine to embrace the oddness of the current times. Especially when what you do requires a lot of cognitive work. History has told us that many artists and writers have overly produced their work through a crisis, which is valid and quite inspiring; however, it is important to have in mind that many artists also made good use of procrastination through tough times. If you are feeling exhausted with everything that is going on and in need of a break, we are in this together. Here are some of the things I have been doing in order to remain sane. As far as possible, of course.
Read a book you have been aiming for. Not a classic because there's some pressure to read those, nor a best seller just because your friends told you so. Search in your memory or on your phone that one book we have been dying to read and start reading it. The more we enjoy a story, the deeper we dive into its narrative and, as a result, your brain gets a bit of a rest from everything that is going on out there.
Plan a Friday night ritual. We all know what Friday nights are about: pressure to dress up, go out with your friends or do something fancier. Gentle reminder: we are living through a pandemic that is far from an end so, be creative. Silence all the voices of the world and find out what you really want to watch. This must be a judgement free zone in order to work. As for me, I have binged The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, followed by a bottle of wine and Chinese food.
Make time to be with yourself. As for now, the quarantine has been put on hold and we are all craving for some social interaction - always social distancing obviously, with our beloved ones. Since we have been stuck in our homes for a long time, consider going out to places you have been wanting to go by yourself. A change of setting might just be what you need to recharge. I have been making regular visits to Central Park, people watching and eating snacks. Always in the company of that book we talked about earlier. My choice was Grande Sertão: Veredas - a six-hundred pages novel written by the greatest Brazilian writer Guimarães Rosa. Here's a helpful hint: as a bilingual writer, reading in Portuguese - my first language, has kept me closer to home in these troubled times.
Extend the kindness you devote to others to yourself. The reason why I didn't start this paragraph with "Be kind to yourself." is because I have always thought I was being kind to myself during challenging times; however, I was not. A mind-blowing way to figure that out is to do this simple exercise: Pick a situation in your life you feel guilty about. Now, put a beloved friend of yours in your shoes. How would you respond to that? Would you be as rigid with them? Would you consider more deeply the circumstances they are at? While doing this exercise, I realized I was too hard on myself, hence, there is no way to win this battle. The kindness I extend to others, I shall extend to myself too. That is the key to self-care.
Laugh. No matter how difficult the situation is, we are resourceful. Somedays, all we have to do is survive. Get through the night that ends a very long day. This is a long day, but it will pass. Humor is not intended to disrespect nor dismiss the emotions of a difficult reality, but humor is there to help us to get through these moments. Our entire bodies are organic machines of adaptability. As for me, it took a couple of weeks to finish an article that would normally take me a day, but that is okay. I did it for me. I did it for us. Because, sometimes, the only way out is through. The way through though can be scary and obscure but, if we hold hands (virtually), we can make it to the other side.