The Power of Healing Inside Our Community | Sexual Assault Awareness Month
We are social individuals by nature. Even in order to exercise our right to be an individual, we need to be in community. Because our community must be the space for growth and independence. In female environments though, we were raised to a different reality, in which female relationships have been assumed to be unsettling, conflictual and self-centered. We mentioned how harmful and lonely it is to be in a community that doesn't support us. We also discussed how positively impactful it is when we can rely on the community we are inserted in. Since, as women, we have been conditioned to not seek help or to not trust other women, how do we build a community that is safe and supportive for all of us? How do we deconstruct these old beliefs and create new ones? What can we do today in order to become the person we would go to if we needed help?
Historically, women have gathered together to fight for their rights. The right to vote, the right to not be hurt, the right to come and go freely. Although we have gotten far, it is not far enough. Nowadays, we have to fight to preserve the rights we fought for in the past. However, this is not a one soldier fight. We fight for all women; for those who can't fight for themselves; for this generation and the next ones. We fight to create an ideal world that supports women who have gone through sexual violence. We call it sisterhood. We call it change. We call it healing.
We are resourceful. We have built communities that have supported and educated women for the past generations. In female friendships, resourcefulness is essential to help others to start their own healing process, but understanding where it comes from is key. Most of us have been in a situation where we needed support and validation. We might not know all the stories of all women worldwide, but we know a very important one: our own. However, even though we know our own story, sometimes we need to learn the depths of it. That's how we claim it and tell it our own way. When we learn how we have overcome the struggles in our life, it becomes easier to understand someone else's struggles. By knowing our own healing process, we become more empathetic towards someone else's process. This is a huge shift in the way we treat others, especially in the way we treat women.
We are perceptive. When we understand our story through the lenses of kindness and acceptance, we tend to become also kind and accepting towards others. In all sorts of friendship, trust is an important component. In female friendships, it is crucial. In a world that lacks kindness and understanding, we can win by example. When someone is kind to us, we can extend courtesy and be kind to them.
We are dependable. The numbers on sexual violence had shown us how scary it is to seek help. Hence, the path to healing. Aspects like guilt and shame hold us back from addressing sexual violence properly and providing support to the victims, because we are too afraid of being judged within our professional and personal lives. The work we need to do to help victims of sexual violence is to create a space they can rely on. A safe space they can talk about their experiences and get help.
We are resilient. We observe and learn from the system that we were raised in. When someone is raised in an environment devoid of acceptance and freedom, the likelihood of someone living according to these social and behavioral inputs is certain. Sisterhood plays an important role to deconstruct this probability. When we challenge the behavior society expects from us, such as judging other women based on their life choices or clothing, blaming them for their sexual violence experiences, we change these inherent social beliefs and transform our community. When we understand we perpetuate certain sexist behaviors in society and we undertake the work of taking care of one another, the healing process begins.
We are unity. The term sorority became trending on social media. The word refers to a social or political group of women united in the name of social causes for that particular group. However, its meaning has been evolving to a more multidimensional and symbolic matter. Sorority also means sisterhood, empathy, caring and safety. As women, we have been walking towards re-signifying the word sorority and displaying it as an object of cause and ownership. A place where it is safe to go to; where women are no longer known as foes, but friends. Sometimes, sisters. Sorority is the family we have chosen to become part of on behalf of something bigger than ourselves.
Need help?
Call 800-656-4673 to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.