Feeling Like A Fraud? Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever felt like a fraud? Thoughts like you don't know why you got that job or you don't understand why people like your work? The truth is nobody is 100% confident all the time but, how can you tell the difference between the standard "butterflies in your stomach” from your brain screwing you over? It has a name: it is called the Imposter Syndrome. It's a phenomenon that occurs with high achieving individuals, mostly women. People who experience this syndrome tend to believe they are a fraud or that they are fooling others. They're convinced that they are faking their way to their accomplishments, and they believe people will find out about them eventually.

It is estimated that 70% of the population has it, myself included. In college, whenever I got compliments, or even when I get a promotion at work, I would ask "why". Why are these people saying I'm smart? Why do they want to give me a promotion? I would even run away from opportunities because I didn't believe I was worth it, I thought "they will find out I'm a fraud  sooner or later.” It turns out I was wrong, not them. My past is filled with opportunities life gave me and I dismissed them because I never felt I was good enough, because I never believed in myself.

The idea for this article came from a chat with a friend. She told me she was diagnosed with this syndrome after seeking help for her anxiety. She would faint or have stomach aches every time she had to go to a job interview, or any other time she needed approval from others. Discovering her condition and getting treatment was "life changing," she said. And that's how I learned about the syndrome, and how important it is for all of us to be aware of it.

The symptoms may vary, but the most common ones are negative self-talk and constant feelings of self-doubt. That's how it starts, the syndrome  strikes in you a cycle of self-sabotage, and it is serious enough to trigger psychosomatic signs in those who have it, like panic attacks for example.

If you struggle with Imposter Syndrome, you probably credit your achievements to "luck" constantly, rather than give the credit to yourself and your hard work. As the name of the syndrome itself, you feel like you are an imposter, you don't believe you are capable of those achievements, or you believe you don't deserve recognition.

Here are a few more signs to pay attention to:

1 - You have difficulty accepting compliments (not even "You're beautiful");

2 - You feel a compulsion to be the best;

3 - The fear of failure can paralyze you (red flag!);

4 - You're convinced you're not enough - and this speech goes on and on inside of your head.

Another friend of mine agreed to share a little about her own experience, and how she felt when she found out about the Imposter Syndrome:

“I didn't know I was suffering from Imposter Syndrome. Actually, I didn't even know it existed. I am very communicative, and I was always very convincing. Usually, everyone around me would get influenced by my ideas and suggestions. But instead of being proud of myself, I thought they were enchanted by my silly and fun way of speaking. I thought I was lucky.

"I'm lucky. That's why I got this job.
But I shouldn't be here..."
"I'm not as good as they think."

I’d have never thought that I have been sabotaging myself for so long. Being aware of the syndrome made me pay closer attention to my behavior in a way I’ve never had before. And that was when I realized that if I didn't prove to myself that I was capable, I’d keep on losing opportunities, not appreciating recognition, and worse than that, I’d be losing my self-confidence more and more over time.”

To overcome Imposter Syndrome is not easy, but it's possible and necessary in order to own your future and be successful. So here goes a few tips:

Identify it

If you are experiencing these feelings, it's ok. Apparently, most high achievers are. So start recognizing them, and remember that it is just a condition, not a life sentence.

Share

We are never alone (especially in this case). By sharing your experience, you might be surprised by the amount of support you can get from people who either are currently in the same situation as you are or who have been there before.

Reaffirmation

Let's replace these negative thoughts with empowering ones. Shall we? You are capable, you are smart, and you are good at what you do. It is crucial though to be kind to yourself and to understand that you are unique, and the world needs your skills!

Look for Help

Look for expert help - either support groups, a therapist, or a coach, but it is extremely important that you find help and don't allow this condition to take over your life! 

~ Accept your accomplishments, don't fear failure, and embrace opportunities.